I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
