who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's always time for handjobs
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
