And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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