if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
