U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
