you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
