Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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