awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Randomize
