Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
