the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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