Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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