lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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