so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize