my vag is so smooth its legendary
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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