the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
