im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
