just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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