My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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