I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
