two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
