It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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