I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
