"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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