We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize