that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
