Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
