I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
