I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
