id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
