When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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