found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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