I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she told me i tasted like america
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize