420 ftw
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
