I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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