You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
