how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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