sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
