Where are you?
In a non slutty way
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
