Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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