You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
