i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
