I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
