so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
