I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
