We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
