The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
nutella sex= disaster
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize