We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
