It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
