Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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