i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
