all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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