whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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