I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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