Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize