I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
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