I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
My bed is full of blood and feathers
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
