How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Why can't burritos get me drunk
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
