does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You did what with his pubic hair?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
