Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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