I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
