My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
