Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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