you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
