But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
