Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
