Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize