Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
whose parrot is this?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
True college students do jello shots in the library
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
