So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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