I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize