May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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